I’m Not That Scared – And That Scares Me
My feelings as I come closer to taking the bar exam are no longer in the state they were a few weeks ago (see last post). The fact is, I am not that worried. I no longer find myself in a constant state of panic. As far as I am concerned – what is the point? What will be, will be. Not that I do not study, keep in mind, but I no longer study with the vigor I did three weeks ago. I have taken practice exams which are in turn scored by professors. I have received high marks on almost every single one. All my scores have been 5, 6, and 7’s (to pass, you need to average a 3.7 out of 12 essays; 7 is a perfect score). Concerning the other portion of the exam (multiple choice), I am scoring nearly 75-80% on every subject. What do you need to pass: 60%. This brings a sense of what I call “false hope.”
Now, I do not know if you are familiar with the “peaking” metaphor that is often used in sports. The fact is, you want your team (or self, if it is tennis, golf, or another individual sport) to peak at the right time. If you peak too early, by the time performance comes around…you flop. And I cannot help but wonder: Am I peaking too early?
Last spring while I was job hunting, I had various dinners and “coffee” meetings with friends of mine who graduated last year. They currently practice law in Cincinnati and I sought them out to obtain advice on my job hunt (all of them have very “posh” jobs). Because our conversation on the subject usually concluded by the time the appetizer was gone, or before the cup was empty, we moved onto another topic: The Bar. Their advice was universal: “It is not as bad as everyone says. Keep your head up, and you will be fine. However, make sure you do not become one of those people that lose respect for the exam before they take it. Those people, the ones that become too confident, are usually the people that fail.”
Uh-Oh.
I realize I have a decent head on my shoulders. The fact is – everyone who attends law school is used to being the “best of the best” in college. Having completed law school – I know that I can still count myself in that category. I communicate well with the written word, think analytically with the best of them, and can effectively articulate a position. But something else keeps me second guessing.
I am convinced there is no other institution that possesses more “Type-A” personalities than law school. For example, a situation I encountered this morning reminds me a lot of a scene I read in a Harry Potter book (Order of the Phoenix, to be exact). Certain people walk around, and ask you, “How many hours a day are you studying? Only six? I am working in about 13; 16 on a good day.” After that, they snuff off in a self satisfaction that can only be equated with a little brother who just saw his older brother punished because he told on him (I had some experience with that, but I was the little brother). The individual who only studies six hours begins to panic and a close friend hands him a paper bag to breathe into. After gaining his equilibrium, he runs upstairs to the library and begins to study.
There were people like that all throughout law school. And the fact is, now that I look back on it, the individuals who actually put in about 13 hours a day did not do all that well. I never studied that much unless it was exam period. The truth is it is not a matter of how much you study, it is how you study.
But when I hear that 13 hour a day guy talk, and remember what my friends told me with regards to respecting the bar exam, I cannot help but wonder: despite my strengths, am I doomed to fail for lack of respect? And with that thought, I have to run. I need to get back up to the library to study some more.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Monday, June 05, 2006
I recently discovered that when one googles (is that a word - if not: it should be) my name, this comes up as the second most popular site. Given that the most popular sites are of an individual who recently died, a guy in Tennessee who seems to get into a lot of legal trouble, and an English Motorbike Racer, I applaud those of you who have "googled" (past tense of googles - see above) my name. While googling (present perfect tense of googles...I think you get the idea) your own name may be an exercise of vanity - an examination into my psyche remains for another post.
With the constraints that come from being a law student, I abandoned this project long ago, no longer possessing the time or energy to post my thoughts (considering also I could never find the time to hammer them out into a tangible existence). Having finished law school, I find myself looking for a reason to procrastinate studying for the Bar exam. Consequently, I have decided that I will entertain those of you out in the world wide web (who undoubtedly, at some point in my life, knew me or perhaps another bloke with my name) who googled (need I say?) my name. With that said, I begin my post.
As mentioned above - my journey through law school is complete. My job is secure as an attorney for the United States Department of Labor (which I start in late August - in downtown Cincinnati). The only obstacle that remains is the Bar Exam to take place in late July. I graduated law school on a Saturday and began studying for the Bar on the following Monday. Now, the sad thing is that one need not really study that much for the Bar. Truth is, if you put in about 8-10 hours a day for two and a half months, you should be just fine. The sad part is, when you are not studying, you feel like you SHOULD be studying. That little voice enters your head - whispering...do you really have the doctrine of Summers v. Tice in your head? Res Ipsa Loquitur? Comparative vs. Contributory negligence? (for those of you in the legal field - you can tell I have been studying torts today). It is grinding to say the least.
Every law student has their strong subject. During the first week, most students test their knowledge on the six major subjects (contracts, constitutional law, torts, evidence, criminal law, and real property) to discover where their weaknesses lie. Well, for me, my weak subject torts (strong subject: contracts). I like to think it is because of my delicate sense of nature - although those that know me best will tell you, at least according to Myers-Brigg Typology, I have no feeling. Again, another subject for another post.
Besides preparation for the Bar, I spend as much time as I can with my wife (who heads to Austria early next month for some Opera stuff), who endlessly puts up with me always being busy. I also am in the process of reading all of Charles Dickens major works. Currently, I am reading David Copperfield - which, in my eye, is his best work (keep in mind, I have many more to go). Besides that, I play with my dogs, eat, and sleep (a little).
For those of you who wonder, after finding this site, "is this the Richard Freshwater I knew?" my timeline is as follows:
1979-1983 lived in Chicago, IL. (My peeps from the day care still drop a line every now and then.)
1983-1993 lived in Stillwell, KS.
1993-2003 lived in Madison/Clinton, MS
2003-2005 lived in Columbus, OH
2005-present - live in Fairborn, OH.
Oh yeah: I also went by Richie when I was younger. When I visit people in MS (including my family) and they call me Richie - it sounds kinda weird.
With that, I do hope that you will allow me this indulgence of keeping my sanity during an insane time by posting about my studies and thoughts concerning the Bar Exam. If in fact you have known me at some point, feel free to post a comment and say hello.
With the constraints that come from being a law student, I abandoned this project long ago, no longer possessing the time or energy to post my thoughts (considering also I could never find the time to hammer them out into a tangible existence). Having finished law school, I find myself looking for a reason to procrastinate studying for the Bar exam. Consequently, I have decided that I will entertain those of you out in the world wide web (who undoubtedly, at some point in my life, knew me or perhaps another bloke with my name) who googled (need I say?) my name. With that said, I begin my post.
As mentioned above - my journey through law school is complete. My job is secure as an attorney for the United States Department of Labor (which I start in late August - in downtown Cincinnati). The only obstacle that remains is the Bar Exam to take place in late July. I graduated law school on a Saturday and began studying for the Bar on the following Monday. Now, the sad thing is that one need not really study that much for the Bar. Truth is, if you put in about 8-10 hours a day for two and a half months, you should be just fine. The sad part is, when you are not studying, you feel like you SHOULD be studying. That little voice enters your head - whispering...do you really have the doctrine of Summers v. Tice in your head? Res Ipsa Loquitur? Comparative vs. Contributory negligence? (for those of you in the legal field - you can tell I have been studying torts today). It is grinding to say the least.
Every law student has their strong subject. During the first week, most students test their knowledge on the six major subjects (contracts, constitutional law, torts, evidence, criminal law, and real property) to discover where their weaknesses lie. Well, for me, my weak subject torts (strong subject: contracts). I like to think it is because of my delicate sense of nature - although those that know me best will tell you, at least according to Myers-Brigg Typology, I have no feeling. Again, another subject for another post.
Besides preparation for the Bar, I spend as much time as I can with my wife (who heads to Austria early next month for some Opera stuff), who endlessly puts up with me always being busy. I also am in the process of reading all of Charles Dickens major works. Currently, I am reading David Copperfield - which, in my eye, is his best work (keep in mind, I have many more to go). Besides that, I play with my dogs, eat, and sleep (a little).
For those of you who wonder, after finding this site, "is this the Richard Freshwater I knew?" my timeline is as follows:
1979-1983 lived in Chicago, IL. (My peeps from the day care still drop a line every now and then.)
1983-1993 lived in Stillwell, KS.
1993-2003 lived in Madison/Clinton, MS
2003-2005 lived in Columbus, OH
2005-present - live in Fairborn, OH.
Oh yeah: I also went by Richie when I was younger. When I visit people in MS (including my family) and they call me Richie - it sounds kinda weird.
With that, I do hope that you will allow me this indulgence of keeping my sanity during an insane time by posting about my studies and thoughts concerning the Bar Exam. If in fact you have known me at some point, feel free to post a comment and say hello.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)